spooning while watching shortbus, not such a great idea.
(for the record,
i thought it was that film about
autistic people.
not a film
with a lot
A LOT
of fucking.)
the plan,
as i pronounced to my best girls last night after getting calorie drunk on bacci's and ben & jerry's,
was to not fuck,
but talk
maybe make some demands
maybe give us a label.
but then i thought it could actually happened
and
freaked
the
fuck
out.
and thought about the date to art institute i somehow was asked on by an adorable improvisor kid.
and thought about the "hang out or something" that's occuring on friday with dreamboat noise kid.
and thought about a crush/friend coming back from world travels next week and sleeping over.
and thought about the island cruise i'm going on in the spring with an old bf/friend.
and thought about turning 21 and going to barz, and finally meeting ladiez.
and thought about every possible possibility that could ever possibly happen.
and thought about how we shouldn't break up/get back together ever again...that this should be it if it is it at all.
so let's not make it it.
and so i was totally ok with finishing the movie by myself
and thinking that one day we'll be together
(how mang times have we claimed this?)
but for now
we're being young
we're being idiots
the thing is, i would trade everyone for you
i would trade every crush,
every old fling, every current fling, every future fling
but i'm not
i'm being young
i'm being an idiot
i watched shortbus and was horny and thought "yes, exactly."
then i watched antonement and was crying and thought "yes, exactly."
uhhhhhhh!
one day i will stop thinking that there could be something better out there.
but by then i may have found the something better.
or come to terms that he/she doesn't exist.
and that maybe being alone is my personal something better.
"monogamy is for straight people."
