there are a lot of things i need to do by monday, something i needed to do a year ago, some things i needed to do a decade ago.
fuck.
i'm never going to be completely ok, am i?
no one is ever going to be ok but at least we're faking so well.
"i'm gonna be free. and i'm gonna be brave. i'm gonna live each day as if it were my last. fantastically. courageously. with grace. and in the dark of the night, and it does get dark, when i call a name, it'll be your name. let's go everywhere even though we're scared, 'cause it's life and it's happening. it's really really happening. right now."
but then you have those moments where all you want is to float away forever.
and it has nothing to do with friends betraying you, with your true love moving on, with being in debt, with your parents' threats...or maybe it has to do with all of that. because you've been working so hard to just wake up and walk around like everybody else. you don't know how you've done it for so long and continue to do, but you do. and if you fuck up here and there then ok. but no, nobody thinks it's ok. there's all the expectations and most of them you started yourself.
but the minutes keep ticking by and sitting on couch crying so loud your neighbors can hear you through the wall, well, that's not going to do you any good. there are a lot of things you need to do by monday.
